CHEN
2019/7/18 16：07
"I have never felt the love of my father, and I don't know what it is to lose."
F (I) X (her) below
F: Tell me about your sister, I know you have a cousin.
X: Yes, she and I have always been in a state of protection. I don’t want to let my own people bother to disturb her. I don’t want to give her any negative emotions.
F: You think you are worried about what hurts she will suffer, what kind of human suffering
X: I think that she has studied too hard since she was a child and has not been exposed to the problems in the interpersonal relationship that people who have such a small number of good friends will touch. For example, the roots between friends, contradictions, I I feel that if she doesn't meet me, she can't talk to her about the troubles I have encountered.
F: Do you chew your tongue between friends?
X: Actually, I think these are very normal things. I think that everyone's friends will chew on the tongue more or less, and I will do the same. Let's just say that the roots of chewing can be divided into the discussion of telling the truth, and the story of adding vinegar, I have met the latter, so I don't want the little girl to give up because she is afraid when she wants to go out and make friends.
F: At that time, others have added fuel to you. Have you countered it?
X: Actually, there is no way to fight back. When people say it, I have no evidence that I am not doing it. I can only say that everyone is a friend. I believe that people who know me know that I am not doing it. I am very glad that I have friends who believe in me. I also had a good understanding of my friends. Later, my friends slowly faded. After hearing the rumors, I also chose to believe in me. I can bear the inability of others to endure my practice or get used to talking between a few friends. I, they can vomit me behind, but they can't be messed up. I am very glad that my mother has two sisters. They support each other really well. When I was a child, I went to her sisters’ house every year. I was thinking if I didn’t go. My mom didn’t have time to take care of me. I don’t know who to play with.
F: What is the complex relationship between your father and mother?
X: Even if my mom is drunk, I will be annoyed with her. I have never felt the love of my father. I don’t know what it’s like to lose. It’s sad to say. I remember the most when I went back to my grandmother’s house to eat. My father is drunk. I am also the most resistant to drunken people, the feeling of disgust. Even if my mother is drunk, I will be very annoyed with her. When I was a child, my mother went out to socialize and told me to go to bed early. I was going to sleep early. Because I fell asleep, I could avoid seeing my mother drunk.
F: I remember that my dad was drinking, and when I came back, I would talk nonsense, it was really scary.
X: I don't really remember what my dad was drunk before, but I think the impact on me is probably like this.
F: I have the deepest impression on what you said to me. At that time, you said very seriously: "I am already very good. If things like family happen to another person, I have already chosen a very extreme road. "Remember that people like to say that you are very funny, that is, the whole person is very happy. At that time, did you complain about your father, or are you still complaining?
X: I am not really happy about myself. I am happy if I make others happy. Parents often quarrel when I was very young, and then divorced when I had memories. Dad often drank and did not officially work. He felt that he was not motivated. Sometimes I didn't know what concept I had for my father. It’s not hate or love, it’s not feeling. My dad doesn't drink me and beat me, so I don't have any big impressions about these things. I don't blame him. I don't think that because of my life, I have a bad life.
F: Who do you think is the biggest support for you during that time?
X: Mom, I have been with my mom since I was a child, and apart from my dad, my grandparents, Yuanyuan’s sister, and my grandmother, you are all very good to me. I don’t think there is anything. At that time, I was very heartless.
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